Re-imagining
The month of May is one of my favorites. It can also be a time of challenge, at least those days around Mother’s Day, when the birth date of my oldest daughter falls either on that day or near it.
Colleen and I were each gifted young crab apple trees, in the first year that we lived on Bear Hill. They have grown big over these past thirty years. Their branches intertwine and they always bloom together on those days in mid-May that are so bittersweet for me.
May is a month of renewal, perhaps a time to re-imagine one’s life. I wrote the following words on a day in May a couple of years after Colleen died. I offer them to you as you move ahead in the face of your own losses.
These Dreams of You: Re-imagining
It’s a balancing act,
This snug place of remembering
While looking ahead at what might come next.
My dreams have been altered since you left.I am in limbo, between what has been and what is yet to come.
You are with me, in my remembering
And in my imagining of all that could have been,
As I long for a wide and timeless new world.
A few years on, I find myself enjoying my memories of my daughter far more often than succumbing to the sadness of losing her. At least, that’s the way it seems to me today.
Prompt: How do you hold those you have lost, while looking ahead to what may come next?
Upgrade your subscription to a paid one this month for just $60 a year or $6 a month. This is a time-limited discount in honor of Colleen’s birthday on May 14. Half of all subscription income goes to research into effective treatment methods for OCD and anorexia nervosa. Thank you!