Mother's Day
Long before Colleen died, I knew that Mother's Day can be challenging for many women. Women who have lost children, women who wanted to become mothers but never did, women in the midst of dealing with infertility, women who are estranged from their adult children, women who are estranged from their mothers...the list goes on.
During the years after Colleen had left home and Caitlin was in college, there were two things I could reliably expect on Mother's Day: a text from one and a call from the other. Caitlin will call me today. But this is the eighth year I have not awoken to a text message from early bird Colleen, and while I still wish I could hear from her, I am finally feeling used to this. I am used to her being gone. The ache of losing her is not gone, but it has dulled. These days, I simply remember her with love and deep appreciation that I got to be her mother.
It is my hope, for women who find this day challenging, that time will bring acceptance and peace.
Once again, dear Ann, I feel your piercing love of Colleen break through damp leaves of seasons lost, flowering like an orchid.