April Fools, mid-month
"April is the cruelest month."--T.S. Elliot
I recall a huge snowstorm on this date (April 12) in the early 1980s, in Southern Vermont. At least a foot fell, and I was unable to traverse the long hill out of the village in my town to my home in the country. I drove a small rear wheel drive car at the time, with a heavy bag of sand in the back (and a shovel). A friend, in his front wheel drive car, saw me walking and risked stopping to give me a lift. We got going again and he ferried me to the top of the hill (a mile or more) and dropped me at the end of my mile-long road. I was thankful for the uphill ride and trudged that last mile in. I imagine I walked the two (or more) miles in the morning, to get to my car and then to my job. I know that the town did not plow, as the road crew had blasted through their budget that snowy winter, and in April we can count on snow melting quickly. I don't recall anything about that next morning or evening; I just remember the lift from Gary. This is how my memory typically works. I remember the fun parts, the kind gestures, the small successes. And today's storm reminds me of that encounter with a friend over 40 years ago.
I am going through Colleen’s books (mostly dance or math related), and this morning I have been playing some of the word games in one of her puzzle books. I am picking up where she left off, finding some words she didn’t, feeling stumped by some of the puzzles she also didn’t complete, and feeling as though she is here with me. While it would be more fun to actually have the conversations with her that are in my head, and while I miss laughing with her more than I can describe, imagining her with me is way better than not doing so.
Memory is a wonderful thing. I am grateful that mine is as robust as it is. This certainly served me well while writing my memoir. And I enjoy so many of the memories that arise daily for me, both about people in my life who are living and those who have passed on. I can’t imagine my life feeling as rich as it does without my memories.
While snow may not be what I wanted for today, especially having switched my winter tires for summer ones several days ago, it will do. My plan is to meet a friend to see a movie (a friend who has been sick for months and is now doing well enough to join me at the theater!) and then meet another friend for a drink. This was a rainy-day plan, and now it is a snow-day plan. Why not? I love my memories of fun times and I love having new fun. What are you doing today? Do you cherish your memories as much as your current life? Do you like one more than the other? I think I like them both equally. I feel blessed to have both experiences in my life, daily.